I feel like a cancer to society. I'm a sick, sarcastic, smart ass, and I'm hated by everyone. Family included. I'm not cool, I'm a full blown freak. I'm hypocritical when I don't want to be. I do stupid and irresponsible things because I couldn't care less what happens to me. It's like a sick part of me WANTS to be brutally murdered. It's sad because most my life, I've wanted to end it all myself. Even as a very young child I always wanted to go down like Kurt Cobain. I remember telling my mom when I was 6 years old that I was going to die on my fifteenth birthday. I still think I'm going to, I've always known I wasn't meant to be alive.
In sixth grade my teacher said, "Look at the times now, everything has gone wrong! When I was younger people would have died for anyone without question. I didn't say anything because all I could think was, should I die of suicide of martyrdom? I'd go for either nowadays. Whatever kills me faster. I told my mom I could care less if I was brutally raped by 30 nasty men as long as they killed me first. So after 14 years of living I have literally had enough, I'm counting the days until I'm 15!
